I have 3.5 weeks left till this little baby girl comes... It feels like its going to take forever. But I think its a good thing since I have done NOTHING with her room. I have all these ideas, but haven't had the energy to get anything done. Jackson is still in his crib, and within the next week we will have him in his big boy bed. I am hoping that it's something exciting for him, and he trasitions well. I want this all to happen before the baby comes. Is that wishful thinking? Oh well.
There is also that part of you that thinks you really can't love another child as much as you love this one. I'm sure it's true what everyone says, "your love just grows." I'm sure it will be just as amazing as it was with Jackson, but I just hope that Jackson will still feel that same amount of love from Matt and myself.
I have also been having some anxiety about how Jackson will react to the baby. We were sitting in Sacrament meeting last Sunday and Jackson saw a baby 2 rows in front of us, and said clearly, "hit baby," then followed by a swat in the air. What am I going to do? I try as often as possible to tell Jackson that there is a baby in my belly and that we will love sister. So he hugs the belly, and then kisses it. But I never know when that CraZy part of Jackson will come out and "hit baby." Oh man, am are we in for it.
ANY advise would be helpful!
12 comments:
The only thing I can say is that you'll get it. It will be tough at first and then all of a sudden you'll fall into the natural rhythm of two kids and totally forget what it was ever like to have one.
I remember having all of these same concerns when I was pregnant with my second. I was WAY more concerned about my first child and how he'd react than I was concerned about the second. And could I possibly love two? I thought Parker was the greatest, cutest, strongest, smartest baby there ever was. How could I possibly feel that way about another? I was concerned that I really wouldn't ever love Reid as much as I loved Parker. But when you have the second you realize loving another doesn't mean taking away any love from the first.
To be honest, it took me about a week to really warm up to Reid. When Parker was born, I couldn't put him down. And with REid, I didn't want to hold him. It was weird and hard and it made me feel like a bad mom and I was really concerned what Parker would think of it all, but then something clicked in. And it happened. And now I love all three more than I ever knew possible. And I don't have a favorite.
And though it can be a rough adjustment, they will love each other. My older two are BEST friends.
You'll get it and be GREAT at it.
It will be very hard, i wont like but your love WILL grow and you will love the unique qualities that each baby your babies has. Once the baby comes just teach Jackson to love your new baby as much as you love him. It is hardest when you are home alone because you know how much attention a new born needs. Try your best and make sure when Matt comes home that he takes over the baby and try and spend some alone time with Jackson! Hope this helps!
hey girlie! We also moved austin out of his crib a couple weeks before taylor came and we are so gald we did... i think he was just at the right age to deal with the transition!! one thing we did was put a baby gate at his door so he couldn't wander around but his door was still open so we could hear him and i felt the same way about having a second baby and realized its totally normal and you will love both of them to pieces!! You will do great and don't worry Jackson will be a great big brother!!
I am with you on the room... I have nothing done either! It is stressing me out! Good Luck with everything.
I think you'll find that your worries have been unecessary, but your anxiety is completely normal. There may be some acting out but it usually is not directed at the baby. He will love her. And be prepared, the first two months are just wonderful and suck. You're hormones will be all over the place and so will your emotions. It will feel very real but if you can remember that it's not really, you'll get through it faster. I wish that the first wonderful weeks weren't tainted by it. I think the mood swings get a little worse with each unfortunately but it will pass and you will find a new normal. You and Jackson will do marvelously. I can't believe it's almost time. I'd love to help you get the nursery set up, if you want help. That is so my 'thang'. Hopefully I will see you Saturday!
I'm sure that Jackson will get used to her. Of course it's going to be a big adjustment for him, but just remember that he won't remember this trauma when he grows up. :) I'm sure that after a few weeks he will be a protective big brother. I hope for your sake that he transitions well into the bed too. Thankfully I am not worrying about that right now, but I do have to worry about getting Kennedy off of that pesky bottle. :) And do you have any tips about traveling in a plane alone with a baby? I'm doing it next week and I am NOT excited.
Something that really helped Austin is he bought a gift for Autumn and she bought him one. The first time they met they exchanged "So glad your my sibling presents"! We are doing this with the next one to. Don't worry to much about Jackson, he will find his new role and totally rock as a big brother! Try to include him as much as possible: getting things for her and you, burbing with help form you, singing to her, putting her to bed, and don't forget bathtime!
As for the transition to a big boy bed, have him pick the new bedding, and maybe get him a new stuffed toy to join him in the bed. And hey I found Austin a few times spooning Autumn in her crib, babies are resilent so just take it one moment at a time, and remember to laugh and take pictures. It is amazing how well they will love and adore each other!
And in a few weeks you will wonder how you were ever satified with just one child, love grows indefiently so don't panic-you will love her, maybe a little differently but love all the same!!
Hang in there!!
With the bed. I would do it as soon as possiable because it takes time for them to quit getting up out of their bed and you don't want to be doing that right after you have had the baby so I would start like tomorrow. Rylin loved the big bed and stayed in all night the first two days and then it took some time. Just keep putting them pack in and then they will have it.
With Rylin when Jordyn was born I just made a big deal about it being her baby and she was the big sister. She just loved the baby right away. I just had to make sure she didn't love her too much. She would try to pick her up. Jordyn was such a good baby so I made sure to spend a lot of time with Rylin and include her with helping out with everything . And with nursing before I would sit down to feed the baby I would ask Rylin if she neede a drink or a snack. THen get her a book or something and tell her if she needed anyhting else she would have to wait until I was done feeding the baby. It is ture they really are the best friends now I love it. It is an adjustment, but you will do great. I hope that helps and you have a lot of help from family a first that helps a ton.
I wish I had something wise to share...but Heidi...you are a loving, nurturing person to begin with...so I think it won't be hard to love each of your children the same. I'm excited for more of these feelings as my family gets bigger. I'm so excited for you to have a little girl...they truly are precious in every way. Love you and miss you much! Azaleia says hi too!
I think there is a reason infants sleep so much in their first months so you can help adjust the older child. I was nervous too, but the adjustment was easy for me. Daylen didn't have a hard time at first, it was harder when she got older and was awake more than he would bit and pull her arms...not fun! They are starting to play together now and I love it, however, they still have their spats but I think that just comes with sibling rivalary. It will be okay. Just give special time with Jackson everyday as much as possible so he knows that he is still loved.
ps have jackson pick out his sheets. that will get him excited
You and Matt are great parents! I wouldn't worry too much! Things work out. Jackson will know you still love him and he will learn to be nice to his sister. It still amazes me how we ever survived older siblings!! We are so excited for you and will see you at your shower tomorrow!!!! Yeah for presents!
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